When I got to the party
They gave me a forty
And I must have been thirsty
'Cause I drank it so quickly

When I got to the bedroom
There was somebody waiting
And it isnt my fault
That the barbarian raped me

When I went to get tested
I brought along my best friend
Melissa mahoney
Who had once been molested

And she knew how to get there
She knew all the nurses
They were all really friendly
But the test came back positive

Oh, oh, I've seen better days but I don't care
Oh I just sent a letter in the mail

When I got my abortion
I brought along my boyfriend
We got there an hour
Before the appointment

And outside the building
There were all these annoying
Fundamentalist christians
We tried to ignore them

Oh, oh, I've seen better days but I don't care
Oasis got my letter in the mail

When vacation was over
The word was all over
That I was a crackwhore
Melissa had told them

And so now were not talking
Except we have tickets
To see blur in october
And I think were still going

Oh, oh, I've seen better days but I don't care
Oh I just got a letter in the mail

Oasis sent a photograph
It's autographed and everything
Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear