Man, you're really one heck of a guy
Best friend since Jr. High
You showed me Playboy for the very first time
That was rad

We saw Bon Jovi, we sat in the first row
I pierced your ear right before the show
We stole your brother's beer and he didn't know, whoa

Whoa, your new girlfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some? (just wanna get some?)

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com?
Now your stuck with her
Like melincamp is stuck with cougar
Guess that makes me the luckiest loser

I met her at a kegger passed out in the yard
Getting in her pants wasn't really that hard
6 months later she crashed my car
That was rad

She's got a glow from her spray on tan
Marilyn Manson is her favorite band
I really think she mite worship satan
Not a fan

Whoa, Your new boyfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some? (just wanna get some?)

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You should run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com?
Now she's stuck with you
Like a frat guy with a bad tattoo
Like celebrity golf with Alice Cooper
Guess that makes me the luckiest loser

Mel Gibson, Danny Glover
You deserve each other
I'll leave the weapon when you take her home to meet your mother
She was a superstar
Backseat of my car
Those days are over now, but life goes on, yeah

Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some? (just wanna get some?) (just wanna get some?)
Yeah

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion
I know you know she used to be my girl
You'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com?
Now your stuck with her
Like melincamp is stuck with cougar
Like number two on a pooper scooper
I guess that makes me the luckiest loser

That girl is crazy, she's a locomotion (luckiest loser)
I know you know she used to be my girl (luckiest loser)
You'd better run for cover, 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb (luckiest loser)
And did I mention that you both suck?