I work down at the pizza pit
I drive an old hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
I'm a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I've never been to second base
But there's another other me
That you need to see
Go checkout myspace

'Cause online
I'm out in hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It's turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way chat
With two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When I get home
I kiss my mom and she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom and fire on the mac
In real life any time I've ever even been to L.A
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the rose parade

Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I' ve got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
It's turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way- chat
With two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When you got my kind of stats
It's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a lot of weight
Everytime I login

Online
I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way- chat
With two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online