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• No Booty Calls • | by Kelly
Hello?
Hey it's your ex.
It's one in the morning, what the hell do you want?
Baby I'm horny.
What are you saying? You wanna get together?
I want you to come over all dressed up in leather like you used to do.
Back in '02!
You give me good dreams make me wanna scream! (oh, oh, oh!)
Thats not happening again, that was back then. Now I'm interested in bigger and better men.
No booty calls! Deck.
No booty calls! Deck. Thats not happening.
Ah, Kelly I still got it goin' on. I'm hot to trot and I'm warm for your form.
Wow. With cleeshays like that I'm really torn. Your game is played, go back to your porn!
You start me up. You make a dead man cum.
Then you can just drop dead, 'cause you ain't gettin' some.
What happened to the freak who used to rock my world?
The freaks still here, but she's not your girl. You broke up with me!
I make a misstake.
So why don't you just ask me out on a date?
Uhh...uhh, 'cause tonights fate.
...Please!
No booty calls! Deck.
No booty calls! Thats not happening!
Remember when I hit it in the parking lot?
Outside of IHop?
Ya, that was so hot.
Thank you, I'm flattered. But I remember you threw up in the pancake batter. You've got a problem. You're drunk all the time. Are you even sure that this phone number is mine?
Uhh...yeah, uhh...wait, what?
If that confuzed you, I'm gonna have to lose you. Go back to first grade and get yourself a Blue's Clue. I don't even know what ever made me choose you.
Because were good together.
But I could do better!
No one make's you wetter.
Buddy, you're like chedder, CHEESEY! White cheddar.
Hey, I moved out of my mom's and got my own crib.
That's funny 'cause that's just where you belond, in a crib.
Are you saying I'm your baby?
I'm saying your A baby.
I'm not hearing yes or no, I'm hearing maybe.
Well get your hearing checked, 'cause you can't play me.
I'm a player, hate the game, don't hate me.
That's not how that phrase goes.
I know, but you turn me on baby from my head to my toes.
Jesus Christ! Could you at least be original! If games were the truth, then yours would be fictional.
Baby, I've got style, and I've got class.
Well I've got a brand new boot for your ass!
No booty calls! Deck.
Oh, come on baby!
NO! No booty calls! Thats not happening!
Now, Kelly from the block, I don't talk the talk, but I walk the walk and I know you like my-
Hey Johnny Come-lately, don't discombobualte me! If you want some of this, you have to properly date me.
You mean wine, and dine? Thats a waste of time! I can spend five dollars and still get by.
Since thats probally all you have let me buy you a hint. Just go stuff your pee hole with a junior mint!
Baby, all I wanna do is make you sweat. I wanna be Romeo to your Juliet.
Okay, drink some poison and I'll stab myself. You'd know that story if you ever took a book off the shelf.
I don't need no book!
Double negitive, so you do.
My dicks saw the book.
That majoritys, so rude.
I don't understand all these big words you use. I don't need big words 'cause I got big shoes.
Verbally for a moron. Sexually your a Klingon. I'm more mature now, I need a mental turn on!
Baby, I got brains in my underwear. My dick equals M C squared!
You need to go back to physics class! The only brain in your pants is your head up your ass! Check that, you know you could be right. You do cum faster than the speed of light!
You must admit, I got a load like a stallion. Now lets get it on with my creamy italion.
EW! What am I to you? A salad bar! You skeeze so much I need a dick sneeze guard.
So you want some tonight?
I want some never!
Thats not what you said back when we were together.
That was back then. Now I'm interseted in smarter and employed men.
No booty calls! Deck.
No booty calls! Thats not happening!
No booty calls deck! Sorry.
Oh, come on baby. You know-
Don't inturupt me!
No booty calls okay!
Oh, come on. Were not back on that again are we?
Ya, were are because I don't want any.
Don't you want to check out my new sterio?
I don't think so!
You know you like it.
Whatever!
Come on baby. Come over.
No! This phone conversations over! deck!
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