Cinderella’s on her bedroom floor she’s got a
Crush on the guy at the liquor store
Cause Mr. Charming don’t come home anymore and she forgets why she came here.

Sleeping Beauty’s in a foul mood for shame she says
None for you dear prince, I’m tired today.
I’d rather sleep my whole life away than have you keep me from dreaming

(Chorus:)
I don’t care for your fairytale
You’re so worried 'bout the maiden,
Though you know she’s only waiting on the next best thing

Snow White is doing dishes again cause what else can you do
With seven itty bitty men?
Sends them to bed and she calls up a friend, says will you meet me at midnight.

The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair says
Would have cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair
I’ll have to find another tower somewhere and keep away from the windows.

(Chorus:)
I don’t care for your fairytale
You’re so worried 'bout the maiden,
Though you know she’s only waiting on the next best thing

Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom, man made up a story
Said that I should believe him
Go and tell your white knight that he’s handsome in hindsight
But I don’t want the next best thing
So I sing and hold my head down and I break these walls 'round me
Can’t take no more of your fairytale love

(Chorus:)
I don’t care for your fairytale
You’re so worried bout the maiden,
Though you know she’s used to waiting spent her whole life being graded on the
Sanctity of patience and a dumb appreciation
The story needs some mending and a better happy ending ‘cause I don’t want the next best thing no no I don’t want the next best thing.