Sober, life is a prison
Shitfaced, it's a blessing
Sober, nobody wants you
Shitfaced, they're all undressed
Sober, it's ever darker
Shitfaced, the moon is nearer
Sober, you're old and ugly
Shitfaced, who needs a mirror?
Sober, you're a cromagnon
Shitfaced, you're very clever
Sober, you never should be
Shitfaced, now and forever!

I gotta get too drunk to dream
'Cause dreaming only makes me blue
I gotta get too drunk to dream
Because I only dream of you

I gotta get too pissed to miss you
Or I'll never get to sleep
I gotta drink wine not to pine for you
And God knows that ain't cheap

I know you think I'm insane
I know it's not appealing
But till I'm feeling no pain
Guess what I'll be feeling?

I gotta get too fried to cry
Or I'll be crying all night long
I gotta get too high to sigh
Oh my God, where did I go wrong?

So why do I get plastered?
And why am I so lonely?
It's you, you heartless bastard
You're my one and only!

I gotta get too pissed to miss you
Or I'll never get to sleep
I gotta drink wine not to pine for you
And God knows that ain't cheap!